Chapter 17
As Zoro and Cabaji's fight continues, Nami leaves to steal the Buggy Pirates' treasure while the crew is still unconscious, but asks Luffy to steal the Grand Line map from Buggy if he got the chance. Zoro then defeats Cabaji with his Oni Giri attack, only to collapse as he reveals they are pirates. Surprised by this, Buggy laughs at their desire to enter the Grand Line, before Luffy declares his intent to become the Pirate King. As they prepare to fight, Buggy mentions Shanks, causing Luffy to pause.
Character
Luffy cheers on Zoro while Nami points out how he looks like he is about to collapse after wounding himself on purpose. Zoro swears that he will not be defeated by another swordsman. Cabaji notes Zoro's determination, but adds that Zoro can use his wounds as a excuse once he has lost the fight; Zoro responds by claiming if he loses in this condition, then his fate is obvious and he will never be the world's greatest swordsman.
Nami whispers her plan to Luffy, while Buggy and Cabaji are distracted and the rest of Buggy's crew is unconscious; they will continue fighting while she steals Buggy's treasure from a warehouse. She expects the Grand Line map is still in Buggy's possession, not with the rest of the treasure, and says that after she gets the treasure, she will escape. She reasons that whether or not Luffy and Zoro win their fight does not depend on her, so she can escape without causing any problems; and if Luffy wins the fight and gets the map, then they can "cooperate" again before she leaves.
As the fight between Zoro and Cabaji rages on, Cabaji begins what he calls his best trick. After launching several tops at Zoro, he rides his unicycle up a wall and leaps high into the air to prepare a downward strike. Zoro manages to deflect all of the tops, but Buggy launches his hand with his devil fruit powers to grab Zoro, so that he cannot avoid Cabaji's attack. Luffy intervenes by stepping on Buggy's hand before he can grab Zoro - while Buggy recoils in pain, Luffy tells him that he shouldn't interfere with Zoro's fight. Cabaji continues to go for his attack even without his captain's help. Zoro dodges, but becomes exhausted due to the strain of his wounds, and says that he is tired. Cabaji interrupts to insult him, before being thrown from his unicycle by Zoro. Zoro then finishes his statement, saying that he is tired of fighting an opponent with such pitiful skills. Cabaji tries to retaliate with one final strike against Zoro, but Zoro uses his "Oni Giri" attack to finish off Cabaji. As Cabaji falls, he admits that it is shameful to be defeated by a common thief. Zoro collapses from exhaustion as he declares himself to be a pirate, telling Luffy that he is going to sleep. Luffy promises Zoro that he will finish things off.
Buggy is shocked to learn that Luffy and Zoro are pirates. Luffy demands that Buggy should hand over the Grand Line map, but Buggy responds that the Grand Line is not a place where nobodies like Luffy can go as they please, and asks Luffy what he intends to do there. Luffy responds that he is going to be the King of the Pirates, stunning Buggy, before he also declares that he will be the Pirate King. Luffy says that they should stop talking and begin their fight, but as they prepare to fight, Buggy remarks that Luffy's hat reminds him of a red-haired man he once knew.
Mission 2
To infiltrate the prestigious Eden Academy, the entrance interview requires both a father and a mother. Loid attempts to disguise Franky as a woman to play the mother but unfortunately fails despite his superior skills, claiming that there is only so much he can do with Franky's body type. Franky angrily stomps off while Anya offers him a peanut as consolation. Loid resigns himself to having to find a wife.
At Berlint City Hall, Camilla, Millie, and Sharon discuss a burglar that snuck into the offices to steal the personnel files of female residents. Camilla tries to bring Yor Briar into the conversation, but she is not paying attention. They make fun of Yor's aloofness and try to suggest fashion and cosmetics to her. Camilla mockingly warns Yor of being considered suspicious because of her lack of a partner at the age of 27 while making fun of her. She relates the story of a 30-year-old bachelorette who was reported by her neighbors. After Yor obliviously thanks them, Camilla invites Yor to a party at her place during the weekend, reminding her to bring a date.
At Yor's apartment, she receives a call from her brother, Yuri, who checks up on her and asks if she intends to get married soon. Yuri further explains that he is getting a promotion soon but is reluctant to accept it while his sister is still alone. They share a touching conversation where Yuri expresses that he simply wants to see her happy in return for all the care she has given him. In order to reassure her brother, Yor brings up the party Camilla invited her to and lies that she is bringing a date. Hearing this, Yuri says he will ask his friend about Yor's date to ensure he is suitable and hangs up. Upon hearing this, Yor is stressing about Yuri finding out her lie when the phone rings again. It turns out to be her employer, who she refers to as "Shopkeeper," calling about a client for the "Thorn Princess" at the Royal Hotel, Room Number 1307.
At the hotel, a woman in black approaches several guards in suits and takes them down, breaking a door. A guard tries to warn of the intruder but gets stabbed from behind instead. Yor Briar is revealed to be an assassin codenamed "Thorn Princess," now hired to target Brennan of the Auditing Board and proceeds to kill everyone in the room. Later, Yor is in the bathroom of the same room, trying to wash her hands of blood, and notices her dress has a rip. She becomes dismayed as that is her only good dress and is reminded about bringing a date to the party.
At the Forger Residence, Loid is still struggling to find an appropriate woman to marry that also satisfies several of his difficult requirements. Franky has obtained a list of unmarried women from City Hall for Loid to choose from. Franky questions why Loid does not just use a female spy for the role, and Loid comments that the recent spy hunting has caused most of the female spies in WISE to be wiped out. Loid decides to improve Anya's appearance after Franky points out her unseemly behavior.
At a boutique in Ostania, Loid brings Anya to measure her for clothing. Loid considers the seamstress and owner of the store as candidates but is startled by Yor Briar speaking up behind him without him noticing, requesting her dress to be mended. Loid discreetly stares at Yor, recalling all the information he knows about her, which Yor notices, much to his shock. Loid makes up an excuse that he was staring due to her attractiveness and Yor tries to invite him as her date, only to be interrupted by Anya calling for Loid and becomes hesitant due to assuming he has a wife. Anya reads Yor's mind, causing her to find out about Yor's secret job. Anya acts like she misses her mother on purpose so that Yor will find out Loid is unmarried, allowing her to ask him to be her date and explain her reasons. Loid accepts, but under the condition that she will play the role of the mother at the interview and schemes to get her to agree to marry him afterward. Both agree to meet on Saturday at the party.
While Loid and Anya are grocery shopping, Loid receives a cipher and a secret message from the cashier that turns out to be instructions for taking down a smuggling ring planning to steal antiquities from the west at the same time he is meeting Yor on Saturday. To resolve the mission quickly, Loid brings Franky along as an assist, despite his poor fighting ability, and bribes him with a few of the smuggled antiquities. Meanwhile, Yor is waiting for Loid near the subway and is concerned with how late Loid is. Loid has managed to get the smuggled antiquities, beating up a large group of smugglers in the process. While inspecting the goods, Loid claims a diamond ring for himself, getting into an argument with Franky. While they argue, a car with some surviving smugglers drives out in front of them.
Yor has been left waiting at the station and she assumes she has been played, but decides to attend the party on her own to prevent her brother from worrying. At the party, her co-workers greet her and mock her for not coming here with her supposed date. Yor asks Dominic, Yuri's aforementioned friend, to lie to Yuri that she brought a nice man, but Camilla interrupts due to Dominic being her boyfriend and says she will tell Yuri about her coming alone. Yor is tempted to kill everyone to prevent Yuri from knowing she came alone but quickly brushes those dark thoughts aside.
Seeing everyone socializing with each other, Yor concludes that she cannot live a "normal" life and decides to leave early, but Loid arrives bleeding and introduces himself as Yor's husband by mistake, which Yor corrects discreetly. Camilla, jealous about Yor's handsome husband, tries to spill a pan of hot macaroni au gratin over Yor in an attempt to embarrass her but gets embarrassed instead when Yor uses her leg to catch the pan and some gratin spills on Camilla's nose. Camilla is undeterred and continues to bring up Yor's previous work where she would be summoned to hotel rooms for special "massages," which was, in fact, a euphemism for her assassin work. Yor tries to justify herself to Loid but is surprised when Loid expresses his admiration for her working hard to provide for her younger brother, moving Yor. Loid excuses themselves, and they leave the party together.
In the van, Loid apologizes for mistakenly saying he is her husband. Yor tries to propose an idea but is interrupted by a car slamming into the van's side. Loid recognizes the drivers as survivors of the smuggling ring and pretends that they are his patients suffering from hysteria, quickly driving away from them. The smugglers discover the now-abandoned van and split up to try and find Loid and Yor at an old factory. Loid sneaks up on one with a block and knocks him out, snapping a pipe as a weapon while running elsewhere with Yor. Yor is concerned about his violence toward his patients, which Loid lies is a new therapy method called "concussive therapy." Loid throws a pipe he picked up at a smuggler coming up behind them but is unable to dodge another smuggler attacking from above. Yor proceeds to kick the smuggler away, helping Loid. Loid thanks her, and they both laugh about how she sent the smuggler flying before getting interrupted by a smuggler shooting at them.
While running away, Yor proposes that they get married as an extension of Loid's original condition, surprising Loid. Loid agrees and tries to find the diamond ring to propose to her but discovers that it has been lost. He notices a grenade near an unconscious smuggler and grabs it before ducking behind a generator. Loid pulls the pin and hurls the grenade at the smugglers while using the pin as a wedding ring. The smugglers blow up as Loid says his wedding vows to Yor, the two of them pledging themselves to another until the end of their respective jobs.
Ne Zha
Born to innocence, forced to fight, destined to be a hero, the child-god, Nezha, defends those that cannot defend themselves, especially against tyrant Gods.
For three and a half years, Nezha's mother carried him in her womb. During this time, the Dragon Gods, led by Ao Kuang, terrorized the people, sending floods and storms, and demanding not just food, but child sacrifices to feast upon as well.
But youth does not last forever, and Nezha's life changed defending two friends against a captain of Ao Kuang's army. Insulted, the Dragon God commanded his third son, Ao Bing, to defeat the boy, but in the end, Nehza slew his opponent. Furious with grief, Ao Kuang demanded Nezha's father make reparations for the offense committed by his son, or he would send floods and storms to ravage the land. Nezha, humbly, sacrificed himself to appease the Dragon God, but evil Ao Kuang sent storms anyway.
Taiyi Zhenren worked his wisdom, and from the petals of a Lotus plant, Nezha was reborn. The immortal sage gave him new weapons – the Fire Tipped Spear and Wind Fire Wheels – weapons to challenge even the Dragon God and defeat him once and for all.
Time has passed since Ao Kuang's ruin, but the winds of war are rising and new Gods of Tyranny challenge the safety of the defenseless. Once again, Nezha will set aside his youth and stand against the tide, for not even death can stop him.
Champion of the Horde
Despite his fragmented heritage, Rexxar was instrumental in early Horde victories and the establishment of Orgrimmar.
One of the greatest heroes of the Horde was the fruit of an unusual union between orc and ogre. Raised by the Mok'nathal clan on Draenor, Rexxar's massive size and strength made him invaluable during the Horde invasion of Azeroth during the First War, despite his mixed heritage. Yet bloodshed and backstabbing from within his faction (coupled with the death of his companion wolf Haratha at the hands of an orc warlock) eventually diminished Rexxar's will to fight for the Horde, and he left to wander alone. Rexxar disappeared in Azeroth with new companions, including the bear Misha; now, he trusted the wilderness more than the "civilized" world.
During the Third War, while traveling through Kalimdor's Barrens, Rexxar stumbled upon Mogrin, an orc warrior defeated by quilboar, and agreed to take a message to the new warchief of the Horde. Journeying to the recently built city of Orgrimmar, Rexxar met the young warchief Thrall, who schooled him in the attitudes of a reformed Horde. Impressed by what he saw, Rexxar decided to fight alongside the troll scout Rokhan and the pandaren traveler Chen Stormstout to keep Orgrimmar safe from the attacks of Grand Admiral Daelin Proudmoore. Daelin ignored the pleas of his daughter Jaina and attacked the Horde, believing them to be untrustworthy monsters. Rexxar led a counterattack, which led to the death of the grand admiral. With Orgrimmar established, the newly-titled Champion of the Horde returned to his homeland in Outland, the remnants of the world of Draenor. Rexxar remains ever ready to serve the new Horde – his true people – once again.
Part 2
Smokywood Pastures Presents: A Smokywood Pastures Presentation of A Winter Veil Carol, brought to you by Graccu’s Mincemeat Fruitcake—Timelessly Preserved! “She who controls the fruitcake controls the world!” Narrated by Smokywood Pastures’ own Guchie Jinglepocket.
Guchie Jinglepocket from Smokywood Pastures here again to continue our tale! As you may remember, we last left Ebonizer Scrounge after he had just been visited by the spectre of his old business partner, Yardley. He wasn’t very happy that Scrounge wasn’t doing his utmost to spread the Smokywood Pastures goodness. How else are we to increase our year-over-year profit margins if people don’t do their part?
Scrounge sat in his bed wondering if he had just imagined the entire Yardley conversation or if he really was about to have to entertain more ghostly guests. Three more, even! He wasn’t really feeling up to it, to be honest, and was pretty vexed that he wouldn’t be able to count his gold all night in peace as he normally did.
The clock in his room began to chime one in the morning, its bell a resounding reminder of Yardley’s warning. Scrounge hoped the first spirit was on time so they could fit in a visit to the Smokywood Pastures vendor before the next spirit arrived.
A light began to seep through the heavy curtains that surrounded his bed. He didn’t really need the comfort of either the bed or the curtains. He probably didn’t need a solid gold samophlange either, but that didn’t stop him from enjoying it.
He pulled the curtains aside and looked around the room, not seeing anything of note—then he heard a giggle from closer to the floor. A small blonde gnome with her hair in buns stared back at him, her hands folded nicely in front of her as she peered up at the Forsaken financier.
“Hello!” the gnome said. She looked vaguely familiar, but Scrounge didn’t want to presume. Frankly, all gnomes look alike to him anyway, but he dared not say such things aloud. Not since the last time, anyway.
“I’m Chromie! Nice to see you again. Or is this the first time. . . ?”
Scrounge stared at her as she babbled about time vortexes, temporal anomalies, juxtaposomethings, and a pair of ducks—unable to make heads or tails about what she was talking about. Eventually, growing weary of her ramblings, Scrounge interrupted.
“So are you the Spirit of Winter Veil past I was told of or not?”
“Spirit of . . . OH! Yes, of course. That’s the one. I’m Chromie, the Spirit of Winter Veil past. We’re late!”
“How can you be anything but late for the past?”
“Oh that’s right, you wouldn’t understand,” she said, grabbing him by his tunic as the world started to get all wibbly-wobbly.
Suddenly, they stood outside a small schoolhouse. Scrounge instantly recognized it as the place where he first learned of the wonderful power of numbers, during a time of his life marked by both great promise and sadness. You see, there was no Smokywood Pastures yet. No Smokywood Pastures Gift Packs, no Holiday Cheesewheel—oh, it was a dark time. But there were numbers—lovely, lovely numbers, and the promises they held.
“I remember this,” said Scrounge. “I was a boy here. I remember hours of wonderful arithmetic while the other children went home for Winter Veil.”
“You remember this? Oh, thank goodness—got lucky there! But yes, it’s true . . . you never really got along with your classmates while you were here. Your only friend was an adding machine.”
“Those were good times, aye.”
“But you didn’t have any money.”
“Well . . . yes, I suppose that part was pretty terrible.” Scrounge replied gruffly. “Is there a point in showing me this, spirit?”
“Oh no, not really. I honestly wasn’t sure where we’d end up, so I’m glad it happened to be a moment you recognized. Let’s go sometime else!”
Chromie grabbed him once more, pulling him down to face her. She looked momentarily confused, and once more Scrounge felt the world shift around him.
The scene was another Winter Veil celebration, and the sound of music permeated the air. Scrounge soon realized this was his worgen boss Fuzzywick’s party, and there was a boundless amount of Smokywood Pastures goodies for all to partake in. It was a comestible festival, which I’m told means “a pretty awesome party.” A feast for the eyes and ears, and everyone was happy . . . save for Scrounge.
“Spirit, why do you torment me with such visions?”
“What visions?”
“Why show me this party and this time in my past? What lesson can be found here?” he lamented.
“Oh, right. The past . . . I thought I had returned you to the present. Your present, not my present. Light, that would be weird if I took you to my present, wouldn’t it?”
Chromie immediately launched into yet another extremely boring explanation of time and space—which we’ll spare you from by breaking for this amazing offer from Smokywood Pastures’ sponsors!
If you can’t relive your childhood by going into the past with a time-traveling dragon, fret not! Smokywood Pastures has you covered. Pick up the delightful book Snow Fight and you can relive someone else’s childhood. Buy one for everyone on your Winter Veil list—they’ll thank you for it!
Now back to our irregularly scheduled Chromie. . . .
“As you can see,” said Chromie, “Even then . . . or now . . . people would buy everything Smokywood Pastures had to offer and share it with other people. Smokywood Pastures would profit, and a profitable Smokywood Pastures is good for everyone.” That’s probably what she said, anyway. It’s certainly what I would have said in her shoes.
Scrounge looked unconvinced as she once more lurched at him to grab his tunic. The next moment he found himself back in bed, his gold coins knocked askew from their neat stacks. The last sound he heard was Chromie’s giggle drifting away into the chilly night air. He hoped she remembered to bring him back to the present. He checked his clock to be sure. It was half past one, so she had been off by just a hair. He was lucky that was all she was off by.
Scrounge would have sighed if he were able to, but instead he began counting his coins. He knew he had two spirits to go before he’d get release from these pesky ghosts. Couldn’t they see he had better things to do?
It was a sad state to be in. Yes, Scrounge was an exceedingly greedy fellow, preferring to hoard his gold instead of reinvesting it into the ongoing growth of Smokywood Pastures, helping it grow into the biggest name in the commercial foods and beverages world. Sad, sad indeed.
Oda Eiichiro
It's cold!! I hate the cold!! Ahh, I wonder if this is the place for that. I think I'll work dandily while drinking a warm, bittersweet cup of coffee.
寒いっ!!寒いのはぼくは嫌いだっ!!ああーここはあれですかねえ。ひとつ温かくほろ苦いコーヒーでも飲みながら、ダンディーに仕事しますかねえ。
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